Embarassing Story #1

I figure my first non-introductory post should be about why it took me so long to get this blog started. Because you clearly care (whether you do or not- you've already committed to this story), and because it’s embarrassing and therefore funny for everyone but the people involved aka me. I knew the direction I wanted the blog to go in and I actually wrote the bios and the first post and started a couple other posts before I finally was like ok I’m REALLY gonna do this. Then disaster happened. And by disaster I mean my clumsy, completely uncoordinated self happened.

Here’s the story--

Tiny bit o’ background: Sunday nights Tom and I go to his parents for din. I thoroughly enjoy this for about a billion reasons (not limited to: super delish food, cable, catching up on Tom’s sister (aka L)’s wedding tings, and girl talk with Tom’s mom).

SOO, it’s Sunday and we go over and because L and her fiancé (J) are incredibly awesome they randomly bought us a SWEET set of rocks glasses and a gorg dark purple wine glass that’s about a foot tall which I was instantly obsessed with.

The next night (to be read dramatically) Tom and I get home from work, take out Lil, and start din. Clearly before dinner prep starts I pour myself a glass of wine in my new classy glassy! (I may have named it that) So we’re cooking (really Tom’s cooking and I’m walking around the kitchen drinking and trying to teach Lil tricks) and I remember I haven’t hugged or kissed Tom since we got home and I NEED to remedy that immediately so I make him stop tending the sautéing mushrooms or whatever, and give him a kiss (awwwww) then give him a hug and kind of lean on him (awwww) then I push him into my recently refilled wine glass and it tips over, falls off the counter, SHATTERS with a horrible popping noise and red wine and shards of glass go EVERYWHERE. I’m talking walls, floor, cabinets, counter, kitchen table, chairs. It’s like a god damn winepocalyse. Just perf. Also it scared the absolute.. SOMETHING out of Lil and she wouldn’t move and Tom had to lift her up and put her in her crate. Great work being so calm in the face of potential danger.

We have recovered from the “hugging incident” by Tuesday night. PLUS I’ve perfected my first blog post, and the bios and when we get home from work, Tom starts din and I start blogging. We have din (aka chicken patties and tots but that’s not important, it’s just yummy) and I’m working on things and obv having more wine. Tom and Lil are playing fetch (yea in the apartment, it’s fine.) and on one trip to get the ball she gets distracted by leftovers on the counter. Being the good dog mom I am, I automatically jump up and go to make sure the food is safe and that she gets off the counter. WORST IDEA EVER. I didn’t put my glass down completely, so when I let go the (again full) glass of wine tipped over and spilled right onto Tom’s open laptop. Yes. This is real life. Obviously I suck a bunch.  I grabbed the laptop and tried to shake the wine off of it –onto the beige carpet. Awesome. The laptop was totaled. When the Apple genius guy took the bottom off, wine literally poured out –typically  not a good sign. We’re still recovering from it all. On the plus side, the wine glass didn’t break. Ugh.

This happened about a month ago.  I haven’t had a drink at home in a glass with a stem since.

The Aftermath aka crime scene aka I hate my life:

-A

p.s. I REALLY wish I could say I was drunk when any of these things happened and blame it all on an inebriated state but I was sober. So really I’m just an idiotic mess.