Would Tami Be Friends With You?

It's Friday. Not that I know the difference since I've been boozing and tanning all week. BUT I couldn't leave you guys hanging! In fact I got one of the most entertaining ladies in all of blogland to come hang out today. Sh'e hilar and I basically want to to be her best friend. Would you make the cut?


Hey guys! I'm Tami from Friday Morning Buzz and I'm taking over Adriana's blog while she's laying on a beach somewhere with a 24-ounce Pina Colada in her hand.

Most of the time when I meet someone new, it takes me a while to really get a feel for whether I like them or not. After all, there are so many different versions of crazy out there that it's sometimes hard to spot red flags on a first interaction. But there are a few qualities about a person that make us instant BFF's, a la Will Ferrel and John C. Reilly in Stepbrothers. If you are any of these things, I can guarantee we'll get along.

1. A coffee fanatic

I would have my caffeine IV'ed into my bloodstream if I could, so if I find out you're also a coffee fiend we're new besties. I'll even tell you the location of my secret coffee stash at work so you can raid it whenever you want!

2. A beer drinker

If I'm out at the bar with a potential new female friend and she opts for a draft beer instead of a cliche mixed drink, I love her. Not that there's anything wrong with a good old vodka soda or long island, but if you can get down on some Blue Moon like I can, I'm your biggest fan.

3. A cat lady

Anyone can be a dog lover. It's easy. It takes a "special" person to appreciate cats and obsess over them like I do. If you are that person, hi--I've got 226 irresistible photos in my phone we can look at!

4. An SEC football fan

If' you're a Florida Gator, HI YOU'RE MY FAVORITE PERSON ON THE PLANET. But even if you root for someone other than my Gators, if it's an SEC team we've got something to bond over. We can trash talk on game weeks and schedule our Saturdays around whose team is playing when. I love you!

5. A runner.

I'm not a huge runner myself, but I've never met one I didn't like. Some of my best friends on the planet are either former track and field stars or cross country athletes. Maybe it's all that running for hours on end you do *for fun* that gives you a million more endorphins than everyone else. I'm not sure, but you runners are good people.

 

Are you any of these things? Then you should probably click on over here and read more about the reason I hate Carrie Bradshaw or the night Tim Tebow saw my boobs. Good times.

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Ashten Says: We Can’t Date If You Don’t Love My Dog

I’m Ashten and I write a little blog called “alwaysashten”. I’m not quite sure who authorized Adriana to go on vacation and leave me here without a tan but here I am, helping her out and entertaining you while she’s gone. I’m pretty excited to be here because:

a) This is my second guest post, EVER!

b) I also wear dog hair as an accessory

c) I think Adriana is the shit.

Ladies, it’s a jungle out there. Dating is hard, and chivalry is dead. So, shortly after moving to Atlanta in 2010, I got myself the best kind of man: my Boxer mix, Warner. Since the day I brought him home Warner has been the best guy in the world. He doesn’t complain when I watch trashy reality television, he is grateful when I feed him, he loves to cuddle and he doesn’t judge me when I drink too much and pass out at 7pm. We have a good thing going on, Warner and I.

When a new man enters the picture, Warner plays a large part in how long he will stick around. I may give Warner a bit too much credit, but I think he’s a good judge of character. If a man enters my house and Warner barks at him the chances of him sticking around long are slim to none. If said man takes Warner’s spot on the bed, and then complains when he gets in your way while sleeping, there’s a chance his man will not sleep in our bed for long.

Once, a guy I was dating had to spend the night after a night out at the bar, and homeboy was HAMMERED. We got home close to 3am and while I was trying to be quiet, so as not to wake my roommate, this guy opened Warner’s crate, let him out and proceeded to take him outside without a leash. It was January. He let my “child” out in the cold, in the middle of the night, without a leash. Warner went out, went to the bathroom and ran back inside; climbed back in bed, shivering and this guy was cut a few days later.

Another guy came to pick me up and when Warner jumped on him with delight, the guy sternly put him down and said “GET DOWN DUDE. YOU’RE GETTING HAIR ALL OVER ME. THAT’S ANNOYING.” He was a one date wonder. (The Warner incident was part of it: this guy was also a total toolbox.)

One guy kicked Warner in the middle of the night. KICKED HIM. Why? Because Warner was taking up too much room on the bed and he was pissed about it. I should have had this fool arrested, but instead I just never called him again.

Warner and I have yet to meet a guy who we think deserves to stick around for a while. I think it will take a saint to handle Warner and my high standards for a future dog-daddy.

I don’t mean to toot my own horn but “TOOT TOOT!” My blog is kinda fun and I think you should come over and hang out with me for a bit.

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And now for another lady you NEED to meet. If you aren't convinced by how awesome she is, then one look at her pups and you'll be hooked for sure!

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1.When and why did you start blogging?

I actually started back in February and started through Wordpress. I was reading a lot of healthy living blogs because I was and still am trying to become more healthy and I thought I wanted to write about all of that too. Turns out I'm better writing about alcohol and dogs! Who knew!

2. What is your favorite post you've written and why?

My favorite post hmmmm.. there have been a few but I'll have to go with my post about living and working together! I love Matt very much and I'm so glad we have a strong enough relationship to be able to do that!

3. Bubba and Irene are buddies most of the time right? Do they get in sibling fights?

Oh Bubba and Irene fight alot! With her being the older one she gets more annoyed with him easier! And boy does she put him in his place quick. Sad part is, he thinks she's playing so he goes right back for her. It's hilarious to watch!

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Kate's Swimsuit Issues

Another day, another guest blogger, Another Clean Slate. (see what I did there?) Kate and I became fast friends and I can NOT wait to visit her and the rest of the amazing ladies in Boston. SO SOON. Until then tho, I'd like to have her take over so I can be busy shopping, drinking and tanning.

As much as I love Adriana, I am kind of hating on her right now. So not fair that she is on a beach vacation while I toil away at my cubicle. Before you feel bad for me, I suppose you should know who I am. I'm Kate and I blog at Another Clean Slate. I'm a huge book nerd who is obsessed with college football, brunching and never saying no to a fun trip. 30/f/Boston if you're of the Instant Messenger age.

    

 When Adriana and I first "met" it was blog friend love at first type. I believe our first moment was over our mutual distaste for milk. Blech! I also hate tomatoes, olives, coffee and most things that are good for me. This is why it is so hard for me to prepare my "hot" bod for a beach vacation.

    

 I know Adriana already left on her trip, but for future reference, here are my quick tips for prepping for any event involving a bathing suit.

• Invest in a great cover-up.
• Hang out with someone who has a 24-hour stomach bug and breath their air as much as possible.
• Invite at least two people who you know you look better than in a bathing suit.
• Drop your photo-happy friend's camera in the nearest toilet (not the one impacted by previously mentioned stomach bug).
• "Accidentally" book your flights to Miami, Ohio instead of Miami, Florida.
• Drink until you think you look hot (contingent upon camera being disposed of prior to intoxication).

Hopefully, you can use one of my tips the next time you are invited to a destination wedding or spring break reunion and aren't comfortable strutting your stuff in a bikini. Thanks for putting up with me while our favorite blog friend Lil Adriana is away! You can find me at Another Clean Slate, on Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin or covered in a muumuu at the local beach.          

And now, I want to introduce you to an awesome blogger. She's funny, she's silly, she's a talented writer, completely cracks me up and she's basically the nicest person ever!

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1. When and why did you start blogging?

I started blogging back in March to talk about a disorder I have been struggling with since I was 12. My blog became my spot to write about all my thoughts, random life shenanigans, and things that make me happy!  

 
2. What is your favorite post you've written and why?

My favorite post is probably What The Heck Happened To My Little Pony because it's pretty much a glimpse of how I think, like, 98% of the time. It's not a life-changing post, but it makes me laugh, and it's important to like your own posts, right?

 
3. You changed your blog name a while ago, that's a big deal! Why did you decide to do it?

Changing my blog name was definitely a big deal!  It took me forever to decide on a new name because I knew I'd only get one chance at a redo...I think it's an unspoken blog rule!  My original name didn't fully reflect my content after I started to really get into blogging, so I moved to a name that would better reflect my personality and writing.

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Helene vs. Huckleberry Finn

I'm not here because I'm at the beachhhhh! Although, I think it's supposed to be crappy weather most of the week, I'll be having an awesome time NAHT working! In my absence I have a few great bloggers who will entertain you while I'm gone! Here's the first!

Hello Adriana readers! I'll be honest. I am not thrilled to be here. I know that most guest posters are like "Yay, so excited to be guest posting." But I'm not. It's not because I don't love Adriana. Because, duh. But I just have to tell you something and then you're going to judge me and where will that leave us?

Well I'll let you decide.

It's clear that Adriana is a dog fan. As am I. I have a 3 year old Doberman named Hugo and he's the coolest. Sorry about your pet. Facts are facts.

Anyway, this story isn't about Hugo.

Nope. This story is about my parent's newest member of the family: Finn.

From day one I didn't like Finn. I'm used to bigger dogs. It's not that I don't like small dogs, it's just that my family has always had larger dogs.

Also, his name is Finn. My sisters insisted on this name because they love the show Glee and are obsessed with (ok were obsessed) with Finn Hudson, the now deceased character on the show. I call him Huckleberry. Like Huckleberry Finn because I refuse to act like he's named after a deceased character on Glee.

And, he's wimpy. He's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel so he thinks he's better than all of us with all that royalty in his blood. Well, he's not. He just sits around all day.

That is, until I come over. This dog doesn't like me and he knows I don't like him (It could be becuase I pretend to punt him). Anyway, I was over at my parents house and I decided to pick the little rat up. I was petting him and we seemed to get along really well. But then, something happened.

He peed on me.

I am about to eat dinner and this little dog pees all over me. On my dress pants, down my leg. I scream, pick him up and put him outside.

My mom looks at me and says, "What did you do to our Finn?! He's never done that before!"

And there you have it. My mom loves a dog more than me.

My parent's other dog Addie, who I adore. 

JK, I loved being here. But really, Finn needs to go. You can catch more dog stories and weird anecdotes from me, over on my blog. Thanks for having me Adriana!

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And nowww I want to introduce you to a girl who has become a fast bloggy friend. She's hilarious and I think I laugh at least 30 times every time I read one of her posts. She's adorable and so is her pup!

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1. When and why did you start blogging?

I've been doing some form of blogging for years but decided to get serious about it in June of this year after lots of encouragement from my friends. Writing is like therapy to me and seeing my words resonate and touch others is beyond exciting.It's been both shocking and amazing to see how quickly my blog has grown in such a short amount of time!

2. What is your favorite post you've written and why?

There are a few posts I could list here, but I will try to refrain from humble bragging.  The one that stands out the most is a post I wrote with all the reasons I will not date a fan of rival football team. I'm a pretty die hard football fan, specifically a fan of the USC Trojans. They've been my team for years and I get a lot of shit for it out here in the South. Anyone who appreciates sports will understand what I'm talking about!

3. You and Warner are basically BFF. What's your favorite activity to do with each other?

Warner and I do almost everything together. Seriously--if I could bring him to work with me, I would. As simple as it sounds, we love going to the lake. We never get to go as frequently as I would like, but we pile into my little car and take off for the day. Warner loves the lake: he dives right in and demands I play fetch with him for hours. He then gets exhausted and I don't have to entertain him for the rest of the day. It's a win-win.

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Procrastinating Adult Style

Today I have a pretty face from my side bar guest posting! I introduced you to her before and now she's back again! I'm the first person she's sponsored and I'm so glad she picked me because she's hilarious and it's super easy to promote people I like.

Her name is Jessica and she has a blog called a different kind of plan. She's she's super funny and ridiculous and it's definitely worth a trip to see her. She wrote this post the other day that I was laughing so hard I cried a little.

So here she is!

I have a confession to make.

I am a procrastinator of the worst sorts. Yeah, yeah everybody says they are the "worst procrastinators" and they totally stayed up til 8am throwing back Red Bulls and Adderall to finish that term paper because they were 8000 times cooler than you. 

But that wasn't me. I always had my papers done well in advance because there is nothing that I cherish more than my 12 8 hours of sleep and my nightly Law & Order SVU episode. 

What I procrastinate doing is the super important stuff. The stuff that you really shouldn't procrastinate if you ever plan on maintaining a respectable credit rating or possibly having children one day. 

And while I was reflecting on what a horrible adult I have become, I decided to compile a list of all the super important things I procrastinate doing. I narrowed the list down to 10. From 27.

1. Cleaning my car

OK- not so bad. I'm easing you guys into it. Still, my car looks like a homeless family of 18 is living in there. I have clothes from when I go from work to the gym and am too embarrassed to bring in my Hello Kitty gym bag so I park behind the Shaws and change there, I have various food products strewn across the floor, I have an epic nail polish spill that covers about 34% of the back seat and I am pretty sure I have about $400 in change scattered throughout the car. Yet do I make any effort to clean it? Nahhhh.

2. Laundry

I distinctly remember driving to the TJ Maxx three miles down the road to buy a package of socks because all mine were dirty. I have laundry in the basement of my building. I live on the first floor. There are literally no excuses. 

3. Cleaning out my fridge

Another cleaning one. See a trend? I am convinced I have some rare, genetically undiscovered micro-organism that for the sake of humankind I must protect growing in my fridge in one of the vegetable drawers (that I just recently discovered are called "crispers") that I now never open. Also for some reason, my bottom shelf is always sticky. That is why I only store my edible food on the top drawer and ignore all the crap on the other drawers. I know one day I will be PMSing really badly and just go apeshit on my fridge and clean it all out. One day...

4. Returning library books 

I have never returned a library book on time. I get the e-mail reminders, mark it in my calendar, keep it in my car for me to drop off in one of those easy drop-boxes and yet... I never return them. And then I rack up fees that I never pay so I am forced to either wait until I can pay my $20 library fine with some tomato soup cans or go to another library a couple towns over and repeat the entire process over again. 

5. Dentist visits

Do I even need to explain this one? Dentist visits are the worst.

6. Calling my landlord 

I am scared of my landlord. He's a super nice Indian guy who constantly befuddles me with his awkwardness (is it because he's just awkward? Is it the language barrier? Is it because whenever he comes over I am wearing my Biore pore strips?). Yet whenever something breaks in my apartment (aka every week) or I need to give him his mail, I will put it off. And whenever he calls, I get really nervous and have mild panic attacks. It's not normal. I might need to add this to things I need to discuss with my therapist. 

7. Calling my doctor

Doctors intimidate me. They also never seem to have good news for me. Why would I want to call them back? Ignorance is bliss.

8. Filing my taxes

I hate filing taxes. It takes so long, accountants never think my tax jokes are funny (and I prep all year for them) and I always seem to owe "the man" money. 

9. Paying bills

OK- I do pay my bills. I just pay them on the very last day possible. Like at 11:55pm the night before. I hate seeing what little money I have leave me, especially on stupid things like electricity and heat.

10. Picking up my prescriptions

Rite Aid will literally have to call me 3-5 times before I pick up my meds (see numbers #1-9 as proof for why I desperately need said meds). They really get annoyed with me there and are confused why it takes me two weeks to pick up my meds. Little do they know, I have emergency stockpiles of my meds all over my house from all the other times that month I forgot to take them. It's a fool-proof system.

So there you go, all my (literal) dirty laundry. Trust me, I am just as surprised as you that I have made it this far in life without being evicted and/or having my electricity shut off. Now it's sharing time: What are some things you procrastinate? Are you also irrationally afraid of the dentist? Do you also get lectured by the pharmacists every time you go to your local Rite Aid?

Dead Beat Kitten Mommy, Katie Qué

Today I am leaving my blog in the hands of Katie. I found Katie through, wait for ittttt, Tom. Yup. Tom went to college with a kid who is good friends with Katie and would repost her blog on his facebook. Once I started really blogging Tom mentioned I should check her out. So I did. And I stalked loved her. And now here she is. Talking about her kitten and her super great kitten mom skills


Hello future internet friends!

I'm Katie Qué (pronounced "K", like the Spanish word for "what." See that accent there? It's very ethnic. I however am not ethnic at all, but I wish I were. This parenthetical is getting too long.). I've been blogging for a while now but this is my first time ever writing a guest post. I feel very very lucky that Adriana trusts me on her blog what with my bad-fucking-habit of swearing. So thanks, Adriana.

Since I'm obsessed with my asshole angel of a cat, Boo, I thought a tall tails post would be the best way to start off my guest posting career.

Boo.

However, before I do that, I want everyone out there to know that there is more to me than just cats. At this point in my life the only time any of my friends post on my Facebook wall is when they have discovered a new cat gif or feline performance art (seriously though: http://www.circuscats.com/). But I do a lot more than sit alone in my apartment with my cat, ok? I also drink. And eat cheese. And, every once in a while, I even talk to someone of the opposite sex. So what I'm saying is that I'm a very well rounded person.

You should also know that, despite my obsession with Boo, I'm kind of the worst pet mom ever. I leave him alone for days on end; I come home drunk and ravenous; and then I try to buy his love with treats and toys.

Can't buy me love.

But as any deadbeat mom will tell you, that never works. In fact, it only causes more problems. For instance, Boo now has a catnip dependency. The other day, he hit that shit so hard that he became totally paranoid and was absolutely terrified of going in my room. For a while, I thought this was because there was a mouse or something horrible hiding under my bed, but after thoroughly investigating my room, my roommate and I determined there was nothing there.

Ghost busters.

Ultimately, we decided that Boo was just having a bad trip, so naturally, I then screamed at him, "You're high! You're high in my house!" So often I remind myself of Babs from Teen Mom. 

Anytime an episode like this happens, my roommate says, "It's going in the book." And by that she means Boo's inevitable memoir, which will be aptly titled, A Child Called Boo. Look for it in stores circa 2016. 

anddddddddddddd that's why I love Katie. Go stalk the shit out of her. (I did and that's why we're friends) Find her at all these social media outlets because she's real social. Mostly.

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Meet Merk

So y'all know I'm off being fancy as fuck at a horse race with my big floppy hat and my VIP passes to mint julep city. While I'm gone I want you to meet Merk. She's great. She's funny, adorable and has a dog I would totally trade Lil for. I mean whaaaa?


1 introduce yourself!

My name is Merchon and I am the little blogger over at Merk and her Mastiff. I am from upstate New York, but for work I get to travel all over! I am actually really excited to set up some blates! Hit me up if you're interested!

2 why did you start blogging?

I graduated with a teaching degree, but wasn't able to find a full time job. Back in November, I started working for my Dad's company as a sales woman. I was excited/nervous/anxious/doubtful/pumped about starting a new job in an area I didn't have the slightest clue about, so I thought I would write about it. In my company, there are very few women, so I thought it would be interesting to write about it from a young females perspective. It became pretty boring pretty quickly, so now I write about all sorts of stuff, which normally includes an obnoxious amount of pictures of my dog.

This is Beef, my 2 year old St Bernarnd/Mastiff. He is my furbaby, and I am unapologetically obsessed. Probably why I was immediately drawn to the wonderful lady I am guest posting for.

3 what's one thing all your readers should know about you?

My advice to anyone is to travel to Europe. Or to travel alone. OOOR to travel alone to Europe. Like I did last summer. Literally the most amazing experience of my LIFE. seriously do it. Now. Through Contiki. They are incredible. NOW!!

4 what's your favorite post you've written so far?

Sometimes I have a turn a little Dr. Phil, sometimes I wish I was a fitness blogger, and in my head my posts tend to be a lot funnier than when they actually come out. The post I am most proud of and also had the most fun doing was this post, where I ranked the sexiest athletes. I did my due diligence and researched as many sexy athletes as I could find, then had to decide which were my favorite. Such a tough life as a blogger.

My second favorite post was actually my guest post from my sister, here. She is the real writer of the family. She has such a way with words that I could only dream of. She is also living the life that so many of us who graduated college have lived. She just got a job as the write for a news anchor. You go girl!!

5 who would you want to be your celeb BFF

My first thought is Lauren from the Hills. Only because #retroMTV has been on. Nerd alert. On second thought, Beyonce is my celeb crush. Partially because she is with Jay Z. Not gunna lie, if he walked in with a ring, I would be all like "Ryan who?" Sorry that is awful.

6 who are your daily reads?

If you haven't read Venus trapped in Mars, drop whatever you are doing and read it now. I got into blogging thanks to Mama Laughlin and Skinny Meg, and I die every time I read It got weird.

7 what's your most used movie quote?

"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!"

can't help loving wedding crashers.

8 what's the best part about having a dog?

If you locked your best friend and your dog in your trunk and opened it 3 hours later, who would be the happiest to see you?

9 what's the worst part about having a dog?

Would it be weird to order a professional pooper scooper?

Beef has the worlds worst farts. Hand DOWN.

10 what's the most important thing you have in your purse?

Well, I am broke, so it is not money.....

I would die if any one stole my Micharl Kors wallet. My boyfriend bought it for me and I wish my boyfriend was Michael Kors. sorry...... I love everything he comes out with.

I would love to see you over on my little blogish sort of thing if you like what I have said. Let me know and I will check you out as well. Thanks for listening to my randomness!!

Unicorn Planning On A Budget: A Sponsored Guest Post

When ShopAtHome.com contacted me about a partnership I was pretty excited. I mean saving money is always a plus and they asked for an interview and asked if I would be interested in having a guest post about party planning on a budget. You know I love parties and on a budget is even better. So today I give you Aimee Heckel from ShopAtHome and her absolutely wonderful daughter that I think I would be friends with. And Aimee is totally super mom. She made a UNICORN happen.

Being a mom is quite ridiculous. For my baby girl’s third birthday, I told her she could have Anything. She. Wanted. (Novice parent mistake No. 392.) Since all she got for her birthday last year was a purple dinosaur cake, I expected this offering to be manageable.

The kid asked for a unicorn.

Now, as you may well know, to actually purchase a unicorn costs upwards of 90,000 rainbow flakes and three pots of gold (and that’s not even the sparkly unicorns). Since my budget was approximately the cost of another purple dinosaur cake and I only possess two pots of gold to my name, I knew I’d have to be pretty crafty to pull it off on a budget.

Turned out only a few kids came to my daughter’s party. But I’ll be darned if half of my adult friendship circle didn’t pop up, eager for the chance to gallop into the horizon on a unicorn, themselves. So this party theme idea is not only a smash hit for the little ones, but definitely the big ones, too.

Here’s how I made magic happen:

The unicorn thing.

Turns out, you can put a cardboard horn on a horse’s head and tell everyone it’s a unicorn and they will believe it. At least, they want to believe it. I found a nearby horse ranch that would let us rent out horses for rides, and they (and their horses) were good enough sports to accommodate the DIY horns (with the help of a small monetary bribe and carrots for the horses).

Feeling fancier than cardboard? Pick up an inflatable unicorn horn for a whopping $4.99 at EntertainmentEarth.com. Or just visit the webpage to view the angry cat wearing a unicorn horn. It’s worth it. Save money by shopping the Entertainment Earth coupons at ShopAtHome.com, and also find out how to snag 6 percent Cash Back (which will help fund your inexpensive snacks).

The eating part.

We made rainbow popcorn in shiny cones that I think looked like upside down unicorn horns. Super easy. Microwave popcorn, add melted white chocolate and coat with colorful sprinkles. You can pick all of this up at Walmart.com, which I like to use because you can order your items online and pick them up for free in the store. Plus, there are endless Walmart coupons available.

We bought a stack of colorful paper at Hobby Lobby and stapled it together in a cone shape. Fill a cone with popcorn and you have a cheap snack that requires no utensils and is easy to clean up. Hobby Lobby has plenty of killer coupons to use, too.  I bet no one has ever used “Hobby Lobby” and “killer” in the same sentence describing a unicorn birthday party before. Win.

The decorating.

Streamers. Streamers. Every streamer color in the rainbow. We hung large bundles of streamers from the ceiling to the floor like a giant rainbow you had to walk through to get to the cake and rainbow popcorn. The look was dramatic (we probably used 30 rolls), but super cheap. Plus, clean-up was simple.

Pick up cheap streamers at Birthday Direct (just over $1 each) and use ShopAtHome.com’s Birthday Direct coupons to save you more money. Look for the free shipping coupon. Giddyup.

Aimee Heckel writes about travel and family when she’s not chasing unicorns at ShopAtHome.com.

Soooo who wants to throw me a unicorn party? I mean, act like you wouldn't want a unicorn party.

What was your favorite theme party you had or went to?

"Dogs Are Basically Bitchy Socialites" Says Erin

GUYS I'M SO PUMPED. I have a guest post for you that I'm obsessed with. Really tho. I'm also obsessed with the guest herself. I asked Erin to guest post for me because I will be doing pre wedding tings for L&J's wedding (rehearsal, dropping Lil at the kennel, etc.) and she could not have made me happier.

Hey you guys, I'm Erin and I blog over at The Party Girl's Guide. To be honest I have had a pretty big girl crush on Adriana ever since I saw the name of her blog. Anyone as obsessed with dogs as I am gets mega points in my book. When I started reading and realized she also swears like a sailor and loves wine, I knew we were a match made in heaven.

So you can imagine how excited I am to be guest posting for her today. I could go on and on about all the reasons I love Dog Hair is an Accessory, but you guys already know why it's fabulous, so instead I decided was going to do a fashion post to honor Adriana's former blog. Then I remembered I rarely even brush my hair so I had to scrap that idea.  In the end I decided to write about dogs because, well I am a crazy dog lady.

Ten Ways Dogs are just like Bitchy Socialites 

(this applies to male dogs too, not just the real bitches)

1.) When they get mad they get even

Fred (my dog) recently got pissed about something or another and decided to ruin my $400 RayBan glasses. Not sunglasses mind you, like the ones I need to see. It was pretty awesome. Almost all dogs decide to ruin something or pee on your floor from time to time. Just like an irate socialite will key your car, burn your house down, or write mean songs about you (I'm talking about you Taylor Swift).

2.) They need their beauty rest.

Both dogs and rich girls love them some sleep. Don't even try to wake Fred up before he is good and ready, he will growl at you. I used to watch Laguna Beach, those girls were the same way.

3.) The expect to be catered to.

Fred and Lil have lives like the friggen Kardashians. They have hairstylists, manicurists, chefs, and maids. It must be nice dogs, it must be nice.

4.) They eat their feelings.

Some days Fred just wants to eat everything in sight. Just like girls seem to go right to the ice cream when they get dumped.

5.) The are emotional.

Fred flips shit if he gets yelled at and does everything but write F-you on his knuckles when he gets in trouble.

6.) They nag.

When a dog wants you to throw their ball they will literally sit and bark in your face until you do it. The Real Housewives seem to be constantly nagging their husbands the same way.

7.) They can be super sneaky and manipulative.

Once again watch The Real Housewives, there is shadyness in every damn episode. Fred has his shady moments too, he will climb his ass up on our table from time to time and steal our things. He takes them to his room and lays with them. It is usually a hat or bra...

8.) They have lots of friends.

They might talk behind each other's backs, but they definitely have their posse. And they are always all up in each other's business.

9.) The love getting presents.

Really though, who doesn't? Dogs and socialites are pretty ungrateful however, so don't expect a genuine thank you.

10.) They love to cuddle.

All the damn time.

ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HER YET? Honestly she's wonderful. and I <3 Fred. So go visit her.

Hope y'all have a great weekend- I hope I survive! I can't make any promises about having a post for Monday but I'll try. Til then, I leave you with for #backthatazzup Friday with Whitney and get your posts ready for our Tall Tails Link up on Tuesday!!

Carly Simon You're So Vain