Nicknaming, Dating Fail, and Mini Golf Tragedies

Katie and Tami know the beginning of this story but I'm finally getting around to sharing the whole thing.

I love Tom, obviously. He's not always great at saying and doing the right thing tho. I mean what guy is? But this was such a ridiculous example of "you know me better than that!" and I have to share.

A Little Background:
one day, about a year and a half ago, Tom asked if I wanted to go mini golfing after work. Duh. I love mini golfing. I'm really bad at it but it's really fun and it was a place right by our office I'd never been to. We had a great time (I lost) but the whole time we were playing, Tom was impersonating Christopher Walkin's voice. p.s. he's horrible at impressions. So he was trying to call me "Babe" and I heard him wrong.

"Did you just call me Bev?"

And history was made. He has called me Bev ever since. When he's upset with me he calls me Beverly. Not joking. On top of that everlasting memory, he got a hole-in-1 on the 19th hole and won a free game for us the next time we came!
Now fast foward to a couple weeks ago.

I'm at Tom's desk at work, and he's trying to find something in his wallet. He pulls out the free golf game card. Here's how the conversation went.

"wanna go play after work?"
"today?! YEA! awww yay!!"
"do you have any cash on you?"
"YES! I actually do! Like $23!"
"ok good cuz this card is only good for one free game and they only take cash."
"I'm sorry, did you just ask me on a date and then drop the fact I would be the one paying for said date? "yes."

K great.

I wasn't even bummed tho because I was excited to go back to this little mini golf course on such a beautiful day.

Now if you're keeping track, we've talked about nicknames and dating fails. That means, on to the mini golf tragedy. It's a story of triumph and heartbreak and boyfriend stupidity and overreactions.

We played the first 4 holes or so and I wasn't doing too bad. Then Tom got a hole in one. I was excited! I'm competetive but I was in such a good mood I was just happy for him! We continue to the 16 hole. The rocketship.

I was close to Tom's score but I wasn't really paying attention. Plus we were messing around and being cute so I was more concerned with that. I put the ball back on the little mat thing and hit the little purple ball. It's a magical moment and it seems to be happening in slo-mo. I run to the other side of the rocketship just in time to see the ball drop elegantly into the hole.


I've gotten a hole in one before but not for years. I was SO EXCITED! Tom gave me a high five, and congratuated me, then I made him take a picture of me and the rocket. Basically best day ever. (and I JUST found out Tom deleted that picture. so. much. trouble.)

he tried to recreate the picture in paint. he's very talented.
Then tragedy struck.

Tom was writing down the score and says, "well actually it was a hole in 2.. remember you hit it and it came all the way back?"
d  e  v  a  s  t  a  t  i  o  n.

And what do I do? I start crying. I was SO HAPPY I got a hole in one, and now that was ripped away from me. Instantly Tom felt awful and came and hugged me and apologized. I was also apologizing because I'm pretty sure I'm the only person over age 6 that has cried at a mini golf course.

I was so dissapointed and I was kinda upset with Tom. I mean we have been dating for over 2 years, we've known each other for almost 3, and we've lived together for a year and a half. HOW did he think it was a good idea to correct me? He knows me better than that. He knows I'm completely unstable and that I was super pumped about the hole in one. When I pointed this out, he said it was obviously stupid of him to correct me but that he wasn't expecting me to have a meltdown on the 16th hole.

Anyway I bought myself ice cream (remeber Tom had no cash) and then I spilled on myself on the drive home. Just perfection. It wasn't even that good.


  1. I think this story should be an example in a self-help book for men trying to keep their ladies happy. And the moral is:

    "Never question your lady's hole-in-one"

    A good dating philosophy if I ever heard one!

  2. This story is hilarious. Tom, what a jerk. He should have given you the hole-in-one! My husband totally wouldn't have either

    I love that he calls you Beverly. One of my best friends is called Marie when she is a total bitchface. It is something her parents started calling her when she was little and would morph into a devil child, and they told us one day so it stuck.

    We have another friend who is a big Debbie Downer, and Debbie morphed into Debra, so when she is being a shit, she is called Debra. Beverly is pretty fantastic though.

  3. bahahaha. devastation.

    also i love that you say "im completely unstable"

    shame tom. shame.

  4. hahahahha oh my gosh this is so NOT what I was expecting. It's ten times better. Sorry :( I would have given you extra points for crying! Or taken off extra points I guess since we're talking golf... Whatevs.

  5. Awwww! I probably would have reacted very similarly. Don't ruin my happy time!

  6. hahaha "artist rendering" that's awesome. also boys are so dumb sometimes. like i don't get it. i say you got a hole in one!

  7. haha I love this. But seriously! You totally deserved that hole in one. I probably would have cried too...and then thrown something at Doug if he questioned my hole in one.

    Also- the number of nicknames he has for me is hilarious. The current favorite is Mogardore.

  8. Hahaha boys can be sooo dumb, they just don't think and then BAM waterworks!

  9. OMG! I'm so sorry for your devastation, but this is the best sotry ever! I think it's the awesome picture with the 'Mrca rocket that makes it though :)

  10. LOLOLOLOL i probably would have argued about the hole in one and then threw my golf club at him or in the pretend lake.

    Vodka and Soda

  11. This is the saddest funny story! I love/feel so bad that you started crying!! He definitely needs to redeem himself on this one!

  12. hahaha what a tragedy. although had it been the other way i around i would have totally called the bf out and told him that it wasn't a hole in one! I am a sore loser like that.

  13. I once misheard my bf talking to my friend that I call Nickle and thought he said nipples! So of course that is what he calls her forevermore

  14. haha men are total nerds they should really know better than to correct jose rolled his eyes when I told my friend "i sometimes get into a mood" and I nearly beat him

  15. oohhhh that sounds so much like the kind of date my husband and I would go on. This is hilarious.

  16. My husband would do that to me, too. WHY must they crush our (ridiculous) dreams??

  17. I say you count it as a hole in one and accept your victory. Men are such bad sports. :)

  18. You crack me up!!I've def cried over really silly stuff!

  19. I love that YOU had to buy yourself ice cream. PS I totally threw a temper tantrum (channeling my inner 4 year old) in the middle of the store the other day because my boyfriend wouldn't buy me the three movies I wanted (read: NEEDED). So, I feel your pain in regards to crying in the middle of the mini golf course.

  20. This made me upset for you. UGH! To have it all ripped away when you just celebrated it all. Oh and that artist rendering is a dead match!

  21. I'm sorry but this made me laugh because that would so be me crying at the mini golf. Seriously, I feel ya girl.

  22. The artist rendering made me feel like I was looking at your instagram! But don't tell Tom. He doesn't deserve any gloryy, meanie head. Hope the ice cream made you feel better!!

  23. That picture he drew totally makes up for deleting the photo, but not for raining on your parade. And I feel a little bad for laughing at this.

  24. I am SO glad to know that I am not the only one who feels/acts like this! Sometimes Reid says dumb things and I'm more offended by the fact that he thought it was OK to say the thing TO ME than by the thing itself. Like...hello...we have been together SIX and a half years. You know better dude!