The truth comes out when you are no longer putting your best foot forward. Some say it's getting too comfortable, some say it's letting yourself go. What things do you or your significant other do behind closed doors now that you have reached that next stage? Don't let living solo stop you from sharing. Spill the dirt on an ex or yourself!
I moved in with Tom unofficially the day he brought Lil home. January 17th 2012. He brought The Ting home and I came with her and never left. We officially co-signed the lease to stay at the same apartment in December 2012 and we're still going strong.
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| The day Lil was brought home. Things were a bit cluttered. |
We knew each other pretty well but since that day Lil joined our lives I've seen, heard and observed things that I didn't really expect. I love Tom so very much and I wouldn't trade him for anyone but he's a kook sometimes for sure. For example..
He floods the bathroom. Like on a far too regular basis. Like E V E R Y D A Y. Here's how it must go- He showers, then steps out of the tub before drying off AT ALL. Then he shakes off the water like Lil does after coming in from the rain. Then the pours water on the bathroom floor and tap dances.
I come in after his shower and there is about an inch of water on the floor. The bathmats are soaked. If there is dirty laundry, it's clean and ready for the dryer. I don't know how he does it. And it doesn't end with showers. When he washes his hands or brushes his teeth, the ENTIRE COUNTER IS SOAKED. I'm convinced he just splashes water all over the place like a goddamn kitten playing in a puddle. I go in and everything within a foot of the sink is dripping.
I realize this could be a relatively common one, but Tom talks in his sleep. It's always a surprise as far as what he'll say. Sometimes he has a coherent (albeit ridiculous) conversation with me. Sometimes he has an outburst that includes an incredibly outrageous phrase. Usually it's when he's suppppper tired and I'm talking to him and he's trying his hardest to stay awake for me. He says a lot of fantastic things but by the morning I usually forget so here are the top 3 we can remember.
Full disclosure- I do instigate. When he says something and I realize he's sleep talking, I'll egg him on with questions and conversation. I can't help it.
"You do a real great job babysitting the cats. Do you walk them?"
"You're very rude to my client Anakin Skywalker. You were mean in a Lego sort of way."
"I'll call my mom around lunchtime."
Weirdo.
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| Bedtime. |
Luckily I don't have any real issues. He doesn't clip his toenails in bed or keep all his old band aids in a jar or something. Also both of those things are fucking gross and horrible and I hope no one does those.
There isn't much he could do that would be a deal breaker and the sleep talking is entertaining so that only half counts anyway.
So grab a button, link up, spill your guts and laugh at other people's situations!
Linking up with Stevie and Jane
I talk in my sleep like Emily Rose... don't hate. And your use of curse words in this post was cracking me the eff up. loooove you!
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I laughed out loud at this. Especially the Anikin Skywalker thing. Seriously that shit is hilarious. I would instigate too.
ReplyDeleteI also nominated you for a Liebster Award today. It's on the blog. Because I think you're fantastic.
I could not come up with bupkiss for this that didn't sound lame.
ReplyDeleteLove the sleep talking. Hilarious!
My husband clips his toenails at his desk or on the bathroom counter. Fucking disgusting. That will be on line 1 if we ever get a divorce. The odd thing is that he can't bend down to touch his toes so how is he able to get his foot up onto the counter?? Ew.
ReplyDeleteHaha I do the same thing to Joe. He always sleeptalks about work though and I always worry he's going to call me by another name.
ReplyDeleteThe sleep talking is hilarious. I do the same and John eggs me on with questions too. It usually ends in me getting mad at him and telling him that he is trying to make me feel stupid.
ReplyDeleteToenails in bed is making me nauseous. Ugh.
i love the hack job splash zone you drew for us! Really illustrates the madness girl! Seriously though, if I found a jar of used band-aids...even at an acquaintance's house, game. over. Put that person on my donezo list!
ReplyDeletebut for reals how do they get water everyyyyywhere! and don't even get me started on the toothpaste he somehow manages to splash on the mirror!
ReplyDeleteSleep-talking is hysterical to witness. My husband claims that I hum songs in my sleep. Not sure if I buy it.
ReplyDelete1. I totally get water all over the counter every single time a wash my face. I don't know how it happens, but I have to wipe it down every night.
ReplyDelete2. I ask my husband questions when he's sleeping talking, too. It's freaking hilarious. Our poor husbands.
chris does the water things, too! i always end up with soaking wet feet/socks if i go into the bathroom within a few hours after he's showered. then when he shaves in the sink? hooooly crap. water, water, EVERYWHERE. i always tell him he's in there taking bird baths - just splashing water around like birds do. glad i'm not the only one dealing with that craziness!
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