Squirrel PDA On A Bridge Would Be My Worst Nightmare

Ok, I had a post written sending out love to some of my favorite bloggers but I'm having the WORST time narrowing down the list because everyone is so fucking cool. So what I'm gonna do today instead is pick one of the past Blog Every Day in May topics from Jenni (specifically day 3) and do it now. And then post my love letters very soon.

Day 3 (aka 8)
Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

Ok you're in loooooove. Perfect. I mean I am too but I'm not shoving my tongue in my boyfriends ear or rubbing inapprops areas of him at a restaurant bar. Relaxxxx. You really could have just stayed home. I mean there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Hold hands, smile at each other, rub their back, even play a little footsie. No makeout sesh or dry humping. Please and thank you.

I hate them. Like H A T E. They're horrible rats with a godforsaken bushy tail. They are also assholes. Also, they kind of scare me. I almost had a panic attack once at a park near us because they were fucking everywhereeee. Also I used to make my friends walk with me across our college campus and chase the squirrels away. Remember that Tori and Allison?
Basically how I picture them.

Unless it's the kind that's in a garden I hate it. I especially hate driving over bridges. I feel like something could go wrong any minute. Maybe I've seen too many thriller/action movies where there is always someone going off the side of a bridge. It's the worst feeling. When I'm driving I have to be in the center lane or I freak out. I'm better if I'm a passenger but if we can avoid a bridge then do it. I had an actual panic attack going over the George Washington Bridge in NY. Fuck that bridge. It's 2 levels and I lost my gps signal and started hysterically crying. Completely unsafe.

Drinking milk.
Really tho. I can't stand milk. I think it tastes awful and looks creepy and the after taste is even worse than when you're drinking it. I hate watching other people drink it. Tom likes milk cuz he's gross. We never have milk in the apartment but he got some at some point without me knowing and poured himself a glass. I saw him, clarified it was indeed milk and then called him a weirdo. CUZ IT'S WEIRD. He thought I was the weird one for not liking milk. ICK.

Doing The "we totally don't like each other but heeyyyy!" Thing.
When I'm dunk yea it probably has happened but only with people who I did like at some point. I spend time with the people I WANT to spend time with. If you are at a bar or mutual friends house but we haven't talked in a year, go away. I'm all set. I'm super social and have a very bad balance of sweet/bitch in me and I hate having to navigate that sitch. Just say "hi" (don't be a dick) and then never talk to me again. If I don't have your number in my phone I will be happy pretending like you don't exist.

linking up with Jamie and Bre


  1. Oh my god, squirrels are terrifying! Have you ever heard of a fox squirrel? They have them down in the Carolinas and Florida and they are huge! My first encounter with them, one actually ran after my golf cart... it was awful. I also HATE drinking milk. My boyfriend drinks at least a big glass a day, but I only ever have it in cereal.

  2. Squirrels are sluts...big ones. and yeah milk is facking gross.

  3. Ha That is how I feel about people that I do not get along with. Why force it? Its better just to pretend that you were never there than to me feel awks.

  4. Ha! There are albino squirrels on campus here and they aren't afraid to come up to anyone in the quad. I remember sitting in the Quad when I was in college and those little bastards would steal everything like the monkeys in Costa Rica.

  5. I hate milk too- except in cereal or if its chocolate! And squirrels are disgusting rodents!

  6. I hate milk too and am so afraid of driving over bridges. There are times where I will go out of my way to avoid certain ones.

  7. We have a lot of trees in our backyard and there are a million squirrels and they are all assholes. They steal stuff from the bird feeder, harass our dogs, and cause general havoc.

  8. but for reals pda is worse than AIDS. i especially hate when couples sit on the same side of a table while eating! those people are assholes, you can't have a conversation when sitting next to each other. and don't even get me started on the ones that hold hands at dinner. how do you shove your face full of food while holding hands. not ok!

  9. pda ughhhh. i am in agreement with all of these except milk, it does a body goof!

  10. PDA...no thanks! I gave that same example as a thing that makes me uncomfortable also! I dont like squirrels either. We found one, face down int e pool last week. That was even grosser. The dog likes to go chase them away, he gets a treat for that one:) And milk. I only use milk in cereal. I cant stand purely drinking it.

  11. Haha I also hate squirrels! I have one (or probably more like 10 but I tell myself it's only one that I see all the time) around my condo who I call Fatty. I'm all "Hey Fatty" in order to make him less scary and then he runs away. In the meantime, I'm the nut talking to squirrels. Yeah...haha! I also don't drink milk.

  12. That photos scares the SHIT outta me. There are a ton of squirrels in Florida and they always hang on our window, staring inside. They're really big and my dogs want to kill them. Creeeeepy.

    I only put milk in my coffee or in cereal. I might drink a glass with cookies but it has to be super, super cold - otherwise I think it's disgusting. Bleh.

  13. Omg that last one FOREVER. I won't be rude, but seriously. We're not friends. Lets not pretend, mmmmk? Thx

  14. The heyyy thing drives me nuts. I basically hate everyone i went to grade school with so I hate seeing them and having to tolerate them when they're all let me get your number!! really i just want to punch them in the throat.

  15. Ha! Yes I remember. And I still think of you when I see squirrels. Which is every day. And most of the squirrels around here are black so... I'm probably talking you out of ever visiting me...

    (Is this going to post under my name? Cause I'm logged in to my Google account but it isn't showing up on the screen like it usually does if I comment on a blog... Well, if it doesn't show up when I hit "publish", this is Allison. Not some random creeper trying to reminisce with you about college. I'm bad at the internet)

  16. I hate when people are fake! I'm terrible at pretending to like someone besides doing the niceties that come with encountering someone in public.
    - Heather