How Lil Chooses To Get Our Attention

Since there are a lot of new faces around here I figured, it is time (I’m saying that the way Rafiki says it, FYI) to post another outrageous Lil story.

I think this is the perfect story to illustrate how much of an psycho asshole Lil is. I mean she’s adorable and sweet but she’s manipulative and a complete fuck.

We crate trained her because she tends to go nuts when we aren’t giving her enough attenetion. Obviously when we are asleep or out of the apartment we can’t give her the attention she wants so she has to be in her crate. I hate it. And we’re slowly working on getting her to the point that she can be out when we're not around. We decided the best way to do that was to start with when we were going to sleep for the night. Over a weekend a month or so ago we got her realllly tired and let her fall asleep on the couch. Then we went to bed. Of course she jumped into bed with us but she promptly got kicked off and hopped back onto the couch where she stayed for the rest of the night. (WOO!) That worked out for about 4 nights (since she had an exhaustion hangover from the weekend) Thursday night of that week she was too pumped to just go to sleep so around 11pm we decided she would have to sleep in her crate for the night.

Now, I want you to know, she wakes up around 7ish every morning. When she’s in the crate she usually cries and when she’s on the couch she’ll come over and say good morning to me and then I tell her to “go back to bed” and she usually does. Not too much of an asshole right? Maybe just a little needy.

WELL the first night we put her back in the crate she started crying around 6:30. I don’t appreciate it. We can actually sleep thru that tho for the most part so we sleep for another hour while she cries. The next night she still can’t calm herself down so she gets put in her crate again. That morning I get woken up at 5:30am to the sound of her vomming. Yup. Horrible. So I jump out of bed to make sure she’s ok. By the time I get to her (which is basically 4 steps away) she’s vommed again. I slide the tray out of her crate so she isn't stepping in it (or licking it) and go into the bathroom to pee assuming she was done. I literally don’t finish and she’s voming again. And now there is no tray under her so she’s voming on the carpet.

I get back over to her as fast as I can and she starts again! At this point Tom’s up and we’re both like WTF and also getting worried. If you have a dog you know, sometimes they just vom. But not 5 times in a row. So I start to open up her crate door to let her out. She immediately swallows whatever was coming up, starts going nuts wagging her tail and jumps out of the crate onto me.

Gross. She’s now assaulting me with her icky vom dog tongue.

We check her out and watch her for a few minutes and NOTHING is wrong. In fact she seems extra happy. So we decide, because there is no other explaination, that Lil made herself vom because she KNEW we would get out of bed and let her out. She convinced us of that because when she was done harassing me, she moved onto Tom and then grabbed her ball wanting to play fetch.

Conniving little bitch. She's decided she would rather force out vom than be in the crate. And to be honest, it worked. She now sleeps on the couch every night.

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