Dating Trump Cards

Tom's friend, Carter (who I've mentioned has this music blog) and his girlfriend, B came into town a little while back and we went to din near our apt. During din the topic of ex girlfriends came up. It was mentioned that Tom's ex would be at L&J's wedding and that I was kinda absolutely freaking out. B was like, "No it's cool. Just find the one thing that makes her lose." I'm like mm ok.. so then we brianstormed for a little and during that time, dubbed this feel-better fact The Dating Trump Card. After that it doesn't matter what the ex has, has done, or who they are because you win.

Now, there are "baby trump cards" and then there is The Ultimate Trump Card. Trump cards are different for every ex. So you have to know a little about them when they were dating your guy and their current sitch. I'm not saying stalk them (if you want to go right ahead) but a little info goes a long way. Also this is one time that it's ok to be petty. You aren't using these to throw at the bitch lady, you're just thinking of these things to help you get through the experience.

Here's how they work.

Baby Trump Card
These are named "baby" because they're smaller and not as intimidating. See also: Baby Crushes (ya'll must know what those are but I'll prob make that another post) These are things like the following-

-the ex is dating someone
-the ex has a drug habit
-you're more successful
-his family doesn't like her
-his family adores you
-you're a bridesmaid in his sisters wedding (yea that one really helps)
-the ex lives far away
-they dated a long time ago
-HE ended things
-she cheated on him

Ultimate Trump Card
For this, it's gonna be super different for everyone. The Ultimate Trump Card for one ex may not even be valid for another so they are on an indivdual basis. For example living together could be considered the Ultimate Trump Card for some people but that wasn't good enough to make me feel better. Mine was Lil. Kindaaaa like having a kid. We have Lil and I am most certainly her momma. We share responsibility with everything about her and she loves me. Lil is OUR dog. It's a much stronger tie than living together (I think) and no one could EVER compare to Lil's mom. aka me. So here are some other Ultimate Trump Cards-

-you live together
-the ex lives with their current significant other
-the ex is engaged/married
-you're engaged/married
-you co-own a dog
-you're a lot better looking
-the ex had plastic surgery and looks like MJ
-the ex has a kid/kids
-you have a kid/kids

So next time you have to be in a situation that you have to spend time with, or meet an ex- look up this post, call your BFF (for me that was Sara and HP) and stack your deck with as many trump cards as y'all come up with. You'll feel better.

Also.. you should probably just ask your guy to ignore the ex. It will be easier on everyone that way.. Trust me.
Tom and I, in love, at the wedding

What are your trump cards?


  1. I hate to admit this, but the fact that I live with my boyfriend -who is a doctor- feels like the ultimate trump card for me.
    - Rachel/ With Love, Rachel

  2. pahahahaha gotta love those little moments that make you feel like a big win!

  3. HAHAHA YES! this is the first thing me and my girlfriends do whenever someone finds out about an ex! I met one of John's at a wedding where she was shlammered and everyone was talking about what a slob kabob she is. Ultimate Trump Card! Plus I'm sure you are eleven billion times cuter than any of Tom's exes... Just sayin...

  4. This is my favorite post ever. Manfriend's ex is his sis' best friend so I thought I had no trump card until it was underhandedly revealed and hated sexy time


  5. @tami I'm using slob kabob every day.

  6. Haha. I love this. And thanks for making it ok to use these ;). I work with my man friend's ex. Best believe every now and then I'll tell a trump card story just to let her know how we're doing.

  7. Whenever I start to get down on whatever (still living in an apartment, being poor-ish, etc) I just remember that I married an amazing man and have an awesome daughter and I don't even care enough about my exes to know what's going on in their lives. I am so thankful I didn't let my low self-esteem in high school land me with one of them. Ick.

  8. haha love it!!! I still get awkward around a handful of my exes...i need to keep this shit in mind ;)

  9. Bahaha THIS IS AMAZING.

    Ultimate Trump Card x4000. You guys look fabulous at the wedding :) Xo

  10. Bahaha I love this. You already know about five-head! "Ex has a huge forehead."

  11. im dying... if i ever saw my X in real life I would probably need CPR from pasting out... lets just say.. we dated for a good solid few years in the HS/college transition -- he ended up cheated on me & then that girl got prego

    karama's a bitch

  12. haha I've had this thought too. Especially since the Mister generally seems to have only dated girls with "T" names (don't even ask me why. So, I am such a better dog mom to what used to be HER dog. And the Mister who said he would never, ever want/need marriage is engaged to me. BAM!

  13. hahaha YES!! i love this. now i need to think about this one for me....

  14. I LOVE this! I hate thinking about the ex. I think that our engagement is my trump card. Oh, and that I'm awesome.

  15. I hope you spent the whole time whipping out photos of Lil at the wedding :) This is amazing and now I am thinking HARD.

  16. I am going to make a shortcut to this post so I can refer to it easily!! Haha. So awesome!

  17. yeahhhhh i may or may not be dating my best friend's ex. so there's that.... granted she broke up with him annnnd is now married with a baby so i don't feel that bad. but it was interesting for a little bit

  18. Oh. My. Gosh. Love! I've done this without even knowing I was doing it. But now it has a name besides "let's talk about how much better I am than Katie." Fortunately my boyfriend had terrible taste before me, so I've got a full deck of trump cards. Was that bitchy? Sorry not sorry... :)

    1. Oh, & my ultimate trump card is that I'm the only girl he's ever actually been in love with. I win!

  19. hahaha I love this post. I've always done this, but I'm so glad to now have a name for it! So perfect. xo