Tall Tails: My Dog Appreciates Good Manners (and passive aggression)

Training Lil has not been an easy task. She's still working on things. But the best way to train a dog is to figure out the best way to train YOUR dog. What works and what doesn't work is going to be different for every pup. So after living with her for a year and a half I've come to find the best way to get her to do something is to ask politely, or be incredibly passive aggressive.

Typical Scenario 1:
Lil is on our bed, chewing our comforter

Me: Lil! Off!
nothing
Me: Lil, come on! Get off!
nothing
I walk over to her
she growls at me
I back off
she starts chewing the comforter again
Me: Lil honey, off please!?
she hops off and runs and grabs her ball and starts chewing it on the floor.

A S S H O L E.
"this is comfy for me so I hope you're comfy too"
Typical Scenario 2:
It's time to take her for a walk but she hates putting her leash on so she starts playing "try to catch me, jerkface"

Me: Lil, come on! Wanna go oousideee?!
she looks at me from across the apartment
I grab the leash and collar
she gets in a crouched position
I take one step towards her
she runs behind the couch and looks at me
I chase her around
she always gets away
Me: FINE! I'm just gonna go myself! It doens't matter to me! BYE LIL!
she runs over to me
I go to put the collar on
she dodges and looks at me and then the treat jar
I give her a treat and put on her leash and collar
she runs away
Me: Ok bye Lil. I'm leaving! See ya later. I don't care anyway!
she runs over and stands by the door like "Mom, hurry your shit up."

A S S H O L E.
probably why she has such a false sense of entitlement

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20 comments:

  1. oh my god lil in that crown. also scoobs favorite thing is going in the other room and standing on furniture. "off" he will.. AND go in another room and stand on another piece of furniture.


    asshole.

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  2. Ha!! Oh Lil. Sometimes I'm glad Hawkeye is so little. She may not be well trained, but at least she's only 16 lbs so I can just grab her and make her do whatever I want...

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  3. Haha my dog used to be like this, but now he's all ready to go when I grab the leash!

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  4. Lil demands to be treated like a princess. Nothing wrong with that. Bo's getting to the point where he knows he's too big for me to lift, so he just stands still where he's not supposed to be. Dickhead.

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  5. Lil is a pretty pretty princess and you don't fuck with a princess. They except nothing but having manners! At least she listens to please??

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  6. haha i feel like i'm a dog psychologist sometimes trying to trick my dogs too! haha. love that this is a linkup - i will try to get a post ready for the next one. is it every tuesday?
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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  7. oh Lil, she just does these things to give you good content to write about - she loves you! And loves being a dick too.

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  8. My dogs do the same. friggin. thing. They think it's a game every time I grab their leashes. So I do the same thing you do. I walk to the door and unlock the deadbolt saying "Ok! See you later!" and then they think I'm interesting enough to let me wrestle them into a harness. And then they jump and paw at the door, barking, like I'm wasting their time. Assholes indeed...

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  9. fred never listens to a damn word i say. I am always so embarrassed out in public!

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  10. Lila's over here all, "whatever mom, I'm the shit." while you and tom silently cry yourselves to sleep. Linking my post tomorrow, I have it all types out but totes forgot it was today and not tomorrow!!

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  11. Oh man this is too funny! If I grab my dog's leashes they go nuts! I can't get the darn things on because they are too busy running around in circles and jumping trying to get out the door.

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  12. I don't get this whole stubborn game they play. It's like mine literally counts to a certain number of times I ask her to get of the bed or the couch...geeze.

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  13. New follower here! I just found your blog, and this link-up looks like tons of fun! Can't wait for next week!

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  14. Just found your blog from the link up and I'm your newest follower! What a great link-up, I think I'll be joining next week :) And super cute dog!!

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  15. Haha, dogs are great. If Annabelle sees a leash she runs upstairs and dives under the bed. If she sees you put a leash on Winnie she's all over te place jumping at the door like she's ready to go.

    Also, love te crown!

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  16. Ha! The crown gave her sense of entitlement for sure!! If I even so much mention the word "walk" or "park" Finn starts crying until we go somewhere.

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  17. just like a true female... ignore her and she'll be all over you.

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  18. hahaha oh but she's soooo cute tho!! <3

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  19. Oh, pups. Such d-bags sometimes (cute ones...)!

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