Never Buy Your Own Birthday Kegs, Trust Me.

Everyone looks forward to their 21st birthday for 20 years and 364 days. And then that magical day comes and you are drunk from 12am until 11:59pm (if you make it that long).

My birthday is November 25th. Aka sometimes Thanksgiving. Which was great for my 21st because I got to have a school birthday and a home birthday. My school birthday came first but my home birthday is a much shorter story so I'll share that one first.

Home 21st
I spent about 4 hours getting ready. I went to my best friends house and brought alllllll my shit. And then we went downtown. And then we went to the bar. And then I realized I didn't bring my ID. And then we went to my friends house (where we would go any other night) and got blackout. So that went well. My first night as a legal drinker, I had cheap vodka from a plastic handle bottle. And it was awesome. And I have no photo evidence because it was a super fail.


School 21st
My girlfriend (and suitemate)'s birthday is 5 days after mine, so we had a joint party. WOO right!? Welp here's how that went.

Our guy friends agreed to host the party but wouldn't buy the kegs. So I bought 2 kegs. And then it began. We had cupcakes and got ready. And then, because it's cold in November, we prepared for the 60 ft walk from our suite to the boys house.

I'm the extra fashionable on in the fur hood. Also yes, we needed sunglasses. It's a party.
And then we got to the party! Things started SO GREAT. I started getting legal drunk, I knew most of the people that were showing up, I even liked some of them, my boobs looked fantastic, and my eye makeup stayed on ALL NIGHT. 
FYI: I like the girls on the left, I don't know/like the girls on the right.
And as all of you know, the more drinking that happens, the more pictures that have to be taken. Also please keep in mind, I was 21. And in college. And drunk.
That bro was the other birthday girl in pink's boyfriend at the time. So it's kinda ok right? 
Anyway I was wearing leopard print and sequins so it was basically gonna be a good night regardless. But then it started getting a bittttt out of hand. People (me) started getting cray. Pong and more pong and flip cup, and chugging and shots on demand really get a girl going.
But it was cool because it was my birthday party. And I was drunk. Legally. And that's where the night went sour. And not so legal.

So since it was the last night before thanksgiving break, everyone and their fucking mother were having parties. I went to a pretty small school, so there wasn't a greek life, but there were clicks. One by one, the football, basketball and hockey parties got broken up on the other side of campus. And one by one, those hammered douchebags showed up at my birthday party.

It went from a party to a fucking rave in like 20 minutes. 

Like the princess poster? Yea that's why I was friends with them.
I do know the tall blonde kid, but most of the other kids I don't know. The creep in the left corner was
my soon to be boyfriend who basically fucked things up even more than they already were
It was outrageous. I mean I was at the "Smackdown Hotel" and I was "mayyyshed" so it was ok mostly. But then people I didn't know started stopping me and saying "oh shit is it your birthday?! I'M HAM SAUCED" And then we hit capacity. And not the fire code kind. The kind where literally no more people could fit in the house. And then my ass of an about to be boyfriend started bitching that the keg was kicked. SICK BUDDY, I KNOW. BUT I'M NOT GONNA BRING A KEG INTO A HOUSE WITH A BILLION PEOPLE SO I CAN BE ARRESTED.

And then the cops came. 

And everyone left. Except the boys that lived in the house. And me. 

And the cops were all "you were serving to underage kids" and the boys were all "ummm" and one of them was like "wehaveanotherkeginthetruckoutback" and the cops were like "who the shit supplied this party?" (Boston area cops swear a lot) And I was like, "ummm that would be me." And the cops were like "what the fuck, why?" and I was like, "well it's my birthday and they offered to host my party" and the cops were like "they didn't even buy you your birthday kegs?!" and I was all, "no but I really feel they should have." And the cops were like "yea they should have. you should go home now. And we're taking the kegs. And next time don't buy them yourself." And I was like, "thanks, I promise I won't be such an idiot next time" and then the cops looked at the boys and were like "you guys are assholes for making this girl buy her own birthday kegs"

And then the cops left. And I went home and probably ordered shitty chinese food and passed out.

SO GOOD RIGHT? Disaster all around. My 22nd, 23rd and 24th birthdays made up for it tho. And this year I'm gonna be the big 25 and I'm planning on having a kegga (Boston for kegger) but I'm not buying this time. And there will be no one under 21 because at this point in my life that would be creepy.

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27 comments:

  1. 21st birthday stories are so funny! Love that the cops were cool and you didn't get a ticket on your bday! That would have been a total buzzkill!

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  2. Umm I actually think this is a pretty sweet 21st birthday at least the po-po's were on your side :)

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  3. Sister friend your boobs were on fucking point. Great job! Beautiful dress too. =) but why did they take the keg? Did they drink it?

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  4. haha. that's great. at least not tickets!

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  5. That's awesome that the cops just told the guys they should have bought you kegs and left it at that!

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  6. Either you got lucky or our cops down here are huge assholes. At least you didn't get a ticket!

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  7. I loved your conversation with the cops! So funny!

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  8. hahah I love the comments under the pictures the most! the creep in the corner!

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  9. The cops sound decently cool and I can't believe the guys didn't buy your kegs. So rude!

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  10. For all the times I was a complete booze hound (pretty much all of my early 20s), I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't even get drunk on my 21st. And I was in Vegas. I drank, but I spent the whole night slash morning gambling and having a few drinks here and there. Party animal, right?

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  11. This is one of the best stories I've ever heard and that's all because of the cops.

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  12. "kegga (Boston for kegger)" hahaha i love you.
    shitty chinese food?! at least once a day i pout about how much i miss the chinese food back there. can your next post be a continuation of that guy in the corner that was soon to be your boyfriend?

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  13. Glad you didn't get arrested. Stupid boys for not buying you the beer on your birthday!

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  14. hahahaha - girl, your 21st might be my favorite story.
    It's so NOT okay to buy your own damn kegs for your birthday. Those stupid boys.

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  15. Way to make it a memorable one!!! Go big or go home...literally!

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  16. hahah perfect. at least those cops knew the boys were assholes too!

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  17. This is such an awesome story! I can't believe you had to buy your own keg.. that's just rude. On my 20th party my friends threw me a house party and I demanded that every attendee took a tequila shot with me.. and then I basically died. So that was fun.

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  18. Your 21st birthday sounds AMAZING/Hillarious/a much much better story than mine!

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  19. THAT IS AWESOME. I love this! Your birthday sounds epic.

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  20. Lol minus buying your own kegs your 21st was awesome! And almost going to jail was expected..you were young! Lol

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  21. The end was the best! I totally was not expecting that reaction from the cops! Awesome story. Hopefully those guys learned their lesson ;)

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  22. You win. I mean I dunno what you really win, but that is the best story in the history of all stories. Have fun with your kegga!

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  23. This is a pretty epic birthday story. Win for having the cops on your side too!

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  24. Nice! That looks like a shitton of people!

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  25. Awesome, love that hoods, glasses and pink outfit.

    Willie
    http://www.apparelnbags.com/gildan/index.htm

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  26. hahahaah I love this story!! and that leopard dress and great boobs saved your ass from going to jail

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  27. This story was awesome and hilarious!!!! I love those cupcakes btw!!!!

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